Janice Yuwiler's Editing and Revision Tricks

  

Remove

The word “that”

The word “just”

The phrase “starting to” - just do it

The verb “was”  – use an active verb instead

All adverbs – anything that ends in ‘–ly’ Use a strong verb instead.

( i.e., Instead of  "he ran quickly," use he dashed, or he sprinted, or he raced.)

 

Anchor the Story in Setting - the where and when

Add objects, scenery, and smells to make the world your character lives in real

(i.e. Let your character see the lizard dash into the bushes, or have him stumble over the rope his sister left on the walkway)

(i.e. Let your character live in a specific house – i.e., the tricycle on the front steps; the daffodils in the vase on the small table in the entry way; the trash spilling over in the bathroom; and the bedroom strewn with the clothes she'd just tried on and rejected.

Make the objects and setting specific

(i.e. Not "sat in the chair," but sat in the unpainted pine rocking chair, or the faded yellow overstuffed love seat, or perched on the never-used best sofa)

(i.e. Not "the sun shone on the garden," but the dew on the grass sparkled in the morning sun) 

Use All Five Senses

            Many writers only use sight and hearing. Add smell, touch and taste.

Note: smell invokes very deep memories since it’s one of the first senses we use and one of the last to go. Add the scent of cookies baking, or the reek of garbage, or stale cooking, or the damp in the air just before it rains, and you’ll deepen the scene and anchor the reader more fully in the story.

 

Ask “What is My Character Feeling?” 

At every turn of the story ask what your character is feeling, then show that to the reader by sharing your character’s reactions physically and verbally:

i.e., a frown, stamping a foot, a sigh, a laugh, nodding or shaking her head

 

Check for Changes in Point of View

Your character can only know what he feels, sees, tastes, hears, guesses, wonders, etc. but not what another character is thinking – unless that character says something out loud for your character to hear and react to. Your character can guess and react based on a physical movement or an expression they observe, but they can’t know for certain what’s inside another character’s head.

 

Check for Breaks in Continuity

If someone stomped on your character’s foot, is he limping for the next little bit?

If she hates eggs, she shouldn’t be eating eggs in a later scene, unless she’s being forced to.

If he’s hanging out with his four buddies, there should still be five guys later in the scene unless you've shown someone leaving.